I hate being alone

Courtney started preschool this week, and I have to say that I hate it. I don't hate her going to school, I just hate being alone at home, or wherever I happen to be. I went to the grocery store one morning while she was at school, and I realized, I really like having one or both of my kids with me while shopping. They always make it more fun and you always have someone to talk to. But I guess on the plus side, I got out of the store rather quickly because I didn't have constantly tell someone to sit down, or don't touch that, or no you cannot have that. It was weird, here I was in the middle of a busy grocery store, and I felt all alone. I love the way my kids get excited when the recognize a character on the cereal boxes, or when they ask what everything is and what it is used for. I never noticed how much I actually enjoy grocery shopping with my kids.

The other thing I noticed is, that I don't need a babysitter as often. I have a dentist appointment next week, and I was going to ask a friend to babysit for me. Then it hit me, my appointment is during Courtney's school hours, so there is no need for a sitter. This is still a foreign concept to me. I've always needed someone to watch one or both the kids when I have an appointment. It feels like I am missing my hand or foot.

So here I am alone everyday, trying to figure out what adults do who don't have children. I feel even more lost and confused now, without the confusion and craziness of a child around. This house is to quiet.