School Program

Here is a short video of Courtney at her school program. She was cute and the program was very entertaining.


Courtney's Christmas Program 1

O Christmas Tree

We put our tree up recently, and Courtney had lots of fun putting the ornaments on. I think Nina (our cat) had more fun hitting them until they fell off. So far it has been nothing but finding ornaments on the floor, and putting them back on the tree. Also, the tree skirt has become her new scratching spot. She is also hiding random things under the skirt. When we lived in MA, our mail was delivered to us through a slot in our door. She used to steal our mail and hid it from us if we weren't home. Since she no longer has mail to steal, she has now been taking Courtney small stuffed animals, or socks, or she even tries to steal our bath mat out of our tub. (It is to bulky for her to actually get it out of the tub, but she hasn't stop trying.) Now we have presents under our tree, and Nina likes to chew on the bows. I wouldn't be surprised if I end having to re-wrap presents.

While our cat is having behavioral issue with the tree, Courtney is very good with the tree. She is always worried about it and the presents underneath. She is always careful not to step on the presents when she is rearranging the ornaments. (Which she is constantly doing. And since I bought shatterproof ornaments, I figure she is pretty safe.) She would love it if the lights were on all the time, but we have told her that the lights can only be on if it is dark outside. She still asks if we can turn them on during the day, after we tell her no, she says, "oh man", and goes about rearranging the ornaments again. I think she is slightly confused about Santa Clause. We don't really mention him at home, and we never were going to do the "Santa thing." But she has been learning that Santa brings you things, from school. I've never seen a school so liberal with Santa Clause and Christmas. I always remember Happy Holidays and all things non-religion based. But Courtney has learned about Hanukkah and Kwanzaz and now they are learning about Christmas. Obviously, they are not learning the true meaning of these holidays, just the basic celebrations. I have decided that it is good for Courtney to learn about other cultures and I am excited for her to understand that people are different from her. And I'm even okay with the teacher asking Courtney what she wants Santa to bring her. I know as she gets older and understands more, she will know the true meaning of Christmas that has little to do with Santa. I understand that Santa is very big in our culture and Christmas, and I think it's important that Courtney understand that other children believe that Santa is real, and to take their feelings into consideration when deciding whether or not to let them in on a secret, that he isn't exactly who they think he is.

Courtney also has a Christmas program next week, that she and her classmates have been working on all month. I am so excited to see her sing and dance with all her friends. I will be taking pictures and posting them. Now I'm off to go pick up Christmas ornaments....

Cute Video

Here is a cute video of my niece. She is about 2 months old now, and so cute.rebecca says hi

Tis the Season...

Tis the season of great joy and sadness in our house. I have been doing normal holiday activities, such as baking cookies, decorating the tree and sending Christmas cards. But as I'm doing all of these things, it all feels so different. It is so strange feeling two different emotions so strongly.

I feel happiness and joy for the coming holiday season, because Courtney is so excited about the tree and the cookies and Christmas cards. She is always full of energy and ready to give a hug. She even understands in a small way, about giving presents to other people, and she is happy to do so. That makes me very excited. I love that she is starting to understand from a young age, that giving is very important. She is also learning patience this season, because she has seen all the presents she is getting, (very bad hiding on my part.) Every once in awhile, she will ask if she can play with one of the presents. I always tell her no, and that she needs to wait until Christmas. She accepts that answer, and in another day or so, will ask again. I think it is great she continues wait with excitement, but that she is also learning, good things come to those who wait. She is also very excited about Christmas being Jesus' birthday. She loves birthdays. It doesn't matter whose birthday, or how we are celebrating, she just knows it is a day to be happy and sing. I am looking forward to hearing her sing Happy Birthday to Jesus. All of these things have me excited and looking forward to this season. Not only seeing Courtney grow and learn and understand about Christmas, but this year, we will be able to spend time with both mine and Nathan's families. We have many great things to look forward to this season.

Most of the time I can go through a normal day, and be fine. And then there are days, when it feels like someone hit me in the stomach, and it even hurts breath. Most often, those moments come when Courtney is at school and Nathan is at work and I am at home, alone, doing a whole lot of nothing. I think the part that sucks the most, is, since we have moved recently, we are still trying to find a church and build relationships. So when I can stop my mind from going back over and over again about Keegan, I don't really have someone to hang out with and get my mind on something else. For those of you who know me, know I don't talk on the phone. Don't ask me why, I can't explain it, but I am not the girl who sits on the phone all day talking. If I call someone, it is because I have a question or I am trying to make plans. I hardly ever just call to chat. With that being said, and not having anyone here to hang out with, makes for some lonely afternoons. Most of those afternoons recently I have been spent thinking how different this Christmas is going to be. And how I ache to have Keegan here. After Keegan passed away, there were two days I was not looking forward to. The first was his second birthday, and the second was Christmas. But I know that it has to happen at some point. Time doesn't stand still. I am happy to be spending it with family. And looking at the past four months, has made me realize, Christmas will come and I will hurt, but Keegan is happy celebrating with Jesus, and knowing that makes me stronger.

Time with family

Here are some pictures from when we were at Nathan's parent's house for Thanksgiving. We had lots of fun, and even went shopping on black Friday. It was great just to hang out for a few days with family. Nathan's Grandfather has been in and out of the hospital, and it was great he was able to spend Thanksgiving with us.

Nathan, Grandpap, and Nicholas (Nathan's twin)


Courtney and Grandpa

Zoe (Nathan's little sister) and Courtney